


5 Signs You're In Love

by sophieofwinterfell



Series: A Collection of Firsts [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Blackinnon Week 2020, F/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), blackinnon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:34:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25272493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sophieofwinterfell/pseuds/sophieofwinterfell
Summary: Sirius should have never listened to Mary read them that stupid article from Witch Weekly Magazine...Or, 5 signs Sirius Black and Marlene McKinnon are in love with each other.
Relationships: Lily Evans Potter & Marlene McKinnon & Dorcas Meadowes & Mary Macdonald, Marlene McKinnon & James Potter, Marlene McKinnon & Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & Marlene McKinnon, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew & James Potter, Sirius Black/Marlene McKinnon
Series: A Collection of Firsts [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1827946
Comments: 6
Kudos: 22





	5 Signs You're In Love

**Author's Note:**

> Blackinnon Week Day 3: First time realising they have feelings for each other.
> 
> I can't believe it's day 3 already!!! Thank you so much to those reading my entries, especially those who take the time to leave a kudos or a comment, you guys are the best!

**5 Signs You’re In Love**

  
  


Sirius should have never listened to Mary read them that stupid article from _Witch Weekly Magazine._

First of all, those magazines were full of nonsense that made women act _weird_ — he’d been with a girl once that had wanted to try something in bed that had ended up with Madam Pomfrey having to heal half the bones in his calf. They also made them feel bad about their looks and try horrible diets. They interviewed inconsequential people about the most banal things. Not to mention, they wrote the most ridiculous and useless advice that he’d been a victim of himself, like _7 Steps to Make A Guy ‘Who Doesn’t Do Relationships’ Commit,_ or _How to Slip A Love-Potion In His Tea Without Him Noticing_.

Needless to say, none of that crap worked and Sirius hated them.

But for some unknown reason, he couldn’t stop thinking about the _5 Signs You Are Falling In Love_ article Mary had _made them_ listen to her read the previous day while they all had been hanging out together at the Gryffindor common room. He had laughed and had teased her about it, even if he could sense the tension between some of the people in their group.

Like James and Lily, for instance, that had gone red down their necks and had avoided each others’ eyes as if they would catch Dragon pox with just a glance. Or Remus and Dorcas, who thought they were oh-so-smooth and beyond all that romantic stuff, but in reality, everyone could see how Dorcas _fulminated_ every single girl that dared to approach Remus and he couldn’t help but melting whenever she talked to him, even if it was usually a snap because… well, it was still Dorcas, after all.

Peter had laughed simply because Sirius had, and Marlene had made fun of every single ‘sign’, destroying each one with amazing arguments only a girl like her could think of so fast. But now, for some reason, Sirius couldn’t stop thinking about those so-called signs and involuntarily relating them to _her_.

_Number one. You can’t stop staring at them._

So what if Sirius looked at McKinnon a lot? It wasn’t as if he couldn’t _stop_ whenever he wanted to, or as though he was being creepy about it. Besides it wasn’t his fault McKinnon was always around… who was he going to stare at? Peter?

Marlene was definitely a better choice — with those big, dark blue eyes of hers that were repeatedly sparkling in naughtiness and superiority, as if she knew something the rest of the world didn’t, as if she knew _him_ better than anyone, even himself… Or her strawberry blonde hair, which was unbelievably soft at the touch but was usually a mess, especially when she got off her broom after Quidditch practice… And those impossibly long legs that went on for miles and felt so right wrapped around him…

Honestly, who could blame him for staring at _that_?

 _But it’s not just that_ , a voice in his head kept going that sounded scarily like Remus, whom he was used to associate with his consciousness by now _._ No, it certainly wasn’t — it was also the way she laughed, so thunderously, without even caring who was watching; and how she was always so quick-tempered and could get in trouble so easily because of that so you had to keep an eye on her, if you didn’t want to miss anything.

And Sirius definitely didn’t.

But that didn’t mean he was _in love_ with McKinnon.

“What?” Marlene asked him later that night at dinner, snapping him out of his thoughts. “Do I have something on my teeth?”

Sirius blinked, taken aback, realising that he had been in fact staring at her… But that wasn’t his fault either, because she was sitting right in front of him, devouring a piece of kidney pie while she talked loudly with Lily about _Get Stoned_ , the new Rolling Stones album, which had been released a few months ago and the girls couldn’t stop listening to. Under different circumstances, Sirius would have joined them in the conversation because The Rolling Stones were definitely one of his favourite bands, and he would be forever grateful to Evans for introducing them to him.

“No,” Sirius replied, abstent-mindedly. “Your teeth look fine.”

She had indeed nice teeth, and he liked when she smiled hugely at him and they showed… which she wasn’t exactly doing in that moment.

“Then stop staring, Black,” Marlene said, rolling her eyes.

“I wasn’t _staring_ ,” he retorted, indignant, though feeling as if he had been caught somehow. “I was just thinking.”

“They mustn’t have been very pure thoughts,” Lily commented, cocking her brow at him with a knowing smile. The girl had warmed up to him and James, since his best mate had been sharing his Head Boy’s duties with her, which was nice; but in that moment, Sirius missed the old Lily, the one that generally ignored him or barked at him for hexing Snivellus.

“Yeah, Padfoot,” James added, in a mix of amusement and curiosity. “I know the kidney pie is good, but it’s not _that_ good.”

“Who said anything about the kidney pie?”

“Then was it the way Marlene was eating it? Because that doesn’t make you sound too good either,” Remus commented, also smiling.

“I do look hot eating kidney pie, though,” Marlene grinned mischievously, giving him that mocking look of hers. “So you’re forgiven.”

“Please, Kitten,” Sirius huffed, rolling his eyes and going back to his own meal. “Don’t flatter yourself.”

 _No,_ he told himself again, although not as confidently as before, _it can’t mean anything._

***

“Does anyone else think the way Gideon can fall asleep literally anywhere is cute?” Mary asked them, while staring absent-mindedly out of the carriage that was taking them to Hogsmeade that weekend.

Lily, Marlene and Dorcas exchanged a strange look.

“Not particularly,” Lily replied cautiously, because she was the kindest of the three. “Why?”

“It’s just—I was thinking—” Mary blushed, avoiding their eyes. “Nothing. I just find it… _interesting_ , because I can’t sleep if it’s not on a bed.”

“I can sleep anywhere too,” Dorcas frowned. “Do you find _me_ cute?”

“No,” Mary smiled. “But I didn’t mean it like that. You don’t fall asleep in _class_ the way he does, or in the common room, or—”

“I could, if I really put my energy into it,” Dorcas insisted, still looking at her weirdly.

Mary scoffed. “Forget it.”

And the rest of the girls attempted to do so by trying to make a list of the places they wanted to visit so they wouldn’t forget anything they needed to buy. Mary, however, kept herself unusually quiet, and when she spoke again, just a while later, it was clear she hadn’t been listening to them at all.

“Would you consider _that_ a quirk?” she asked, out of the blue.

“What?” Marlene blurted out, now confused because her mind was already on the new Quidditch gloves she wanted to buy. “Consider _what_ a quirk?”

“Falling asleep literally anywhere,” Mary replied, genuinely interested. “Would that be a quirk?”

“I guess,” Lily said, slowly, until something occurred to her. “Wait! I know what this is about!

“Then, please explain it to us, because I couldn’t care less about Gideon’s lack of social behaviour,” Dorcas added dryly, earning a glare from Mary.

“This is about that article, isn’t it?” Lily gave her friend an exasperated look. “The one from _Witch Weekly_ about the signs of falling in love?”

Mary stayed quiet but blushed furiously, clearly indicating that _yes_ , it was about that. Marlene was simply astonished… and outraged.

“That crap?” Marlene exclaimed. “You’re making us think about Prewett’s loud snores because of that total crap of a magazine, if you can even call it that?”

“He doesn’t snore loudly!” Mary cried, offended. “And it’s not crap! Lily!”

“I’m sorry, Mary, I’m actually with Mar on this one…” the redhead admitted. “That article doesn’t mean anything.”

“Yeah, if you like a guy, you just know,” Dorcas huffed. “You don’t need a magazine to tell you.”

“Oh, this is brilliant! Look who’s talking!” Mary exclaimed, sarcastically. “The one who won’t admit she’s completely _gone_ for Lupin!”

“I _am not_ gone for Lupin!” Dorcas shrieked, losing her usual composed and cold attitude. “Don’t project your infatuation with Prewett on me!”

“Oh, please,” she scoffed. “I am not projecting anything. Unlike you, I actually take time to analyse my feelings.”

“I don’t need to analyse shit,” Dorcas snapped, tensing visibly. “And certainly not with the help of a stupid article.”

“Okay, let’s calm down for a bit, alright?” Lily intervened, before Mary could reply. The redhead gave Marlene a look that clearly asked for some help.

“Yeah, that magazine isn’t worth it,” Marlene added, unhelpfully.

“Well, of course you would think that,” Mary said, still furious. “You are no better than her!”

“Excuse me?” the blonde cried out. “What is _that_ supposed to mean?”

“Guys—” Lily tried, but Mary interrupted her again.

“And don’t even get me started on you, Lily,” the girl warned, narrowing her eyes. “You are all serial deniers! If you opened your mind just an inch and left your pride aside you would see that that magazine, as cheesy as it can be, has a point! Lupin, Black, Potter… you claim to hate their quirks but in reality, you love them! Just like you love _them!”_

And with that, the angry short girl kicked the carriage door open and jumped out of it, making them realise that it had stopped moving and they had arrived at Hogsmeade. Marlene, Lily and Dorcas looked at each other, open-mouthed, in a mix of shock by Mary’s sudden rage and embarrassment because of what she had stated.

“I _hate_ Potter’s quirks,” Lily declared, though she convinced no one. “And I certainly don’t love _him_.”

“And I don’t even _know_ if Lupin has quirks,” Dorcas snorted. “What the fuck is she on about?”

Marlene, in literally any other situation, would have argued with them because she did agree with Mary about her friends’ love for James and Remus — it was obvious for everyone with a pair of two functioning eyes that they were in love with them, no matter how much they insisted on denying it. But she knew it wouldn’t have been smart of her, because she _also_ had been attacked… but in her case, Mary _was_ wrong.

“And I don’t love Black’s quirks,” Marlene snapped. “I’m not denying anything.”

The three girls, satisfied with the way they had convinced themselves of that, got out of the carriage and started their day at Hogsmeade, deciding they were going to look for Mary either way and apologise, because it wasn’t worth it to have a fight over something as silly as that. They found her at Honeydukes, talking to the boys.

Marlene, who had an uncontrollable sweet tooth, immediately went to the rows displaying chocolates, ready to renovate her stock.

“Really, McKinnon?” Sirius asked her, when he saw her queueing to pay with a dozen of different chocolates in her arms; so many in fact, that a few fell off her hold and he had to bend down and put them back on her pile. “You’re going to die of diabetes.”

“Well, you have to die of something,” she replied in a shrug, noticing he had a few things for himself too, like Bertie Botts Beans and a box of creamy chunks of nougat. “You still buy Bertie Botts? What are you, ten?”

Sirius grinned. “Mentally, I am.”

“Couldn’t agree more with that, but how can you still stomach them?”

“It’s the thrill of it, McKinnon,” he explained, rolling his eyes as if she was a lost cause. “You never know what you’re going to get.”

Marlene scoffed, but a smile was tugging at her lips because she had to admit she found it slightly endearing. “We get to control so little in life, Black. Why don’t we at least take control of what we eat?”

Sirius groaned, as if in pain. “What a depressing thought, Kitten. Don’t be so uptight.”

“ _You_ are calling me uptight?” Marlene laughed, incredulously. “You can’t eat that shit if it’s not in even numbers. Talk about OCD… and don’t even get me started on the way you make your bed — you know, my brother would let you into the Aurors Academy just for that alone.”

It was ironic, really, the fact that someone as rebellious and careless as Sirius Black could also be such an obsessive neat freak. Marlene had observed him for years, and it wasn’t just the fact that he couldn’t eat the Bertie Botts Beans if it wasn’t in even numbers, or how he had found out she used to sleep on his bed because of the way she had made it afterwards, which hadn’t been as perfect as the way he did it. No, there were more things, like him being unable to eat chips simultaneously with any food because he had to finish whatever he was eating first and only _then_ eat the chips, because he didn’t like to mix them; or how he was capable of rewriting a whole essay if his lines weren’t _perfectly_ straight because he couldn’t stand to sight of it…

His friends _loved_ to tease them about it; sometimes Marlene also did, but a part of her heart warmed whenever she saw him doing it. Maybe because she could _see_ where those little things came from, which she was sure were a consequence of being raised in a pureblood family as traditional as his. Sirius had cut ties with them two years ago, had been blasted off his family tree by his mother herself and he woke up every day and did the impossible to differentiate from them, but there were things you simply couldn’t kill…

 _Old habits die hard_ , she thought.

All those things were also part of himself, even his upbringing, and that was what made him such a complex, contradicting guy… but also a real one.

Sirius grinned. “Well, everyone has their quirks, I guess,” he commented with a shrug, only to add with a wink, “but you love them, McKinnon.”

Marlene froze, and almost dropped all the chocolate boxes and bars she was carrying in her arms.

_Number two. You love their quirks._

Without realising what he’d done or what he’d said, Sirius left her there and went to where James and the rest of their group was.

 _If you really get to know a person, chances are you’ll pick on the little things that make them uniquely them,_ Mary’s voice suddenly resonated in her head, making her heart race. _And if you’re in love with them, these are probably some of the things that attract you most about them._

“Oh, fuck off,” Marlene huffed to herself, not noticing the offended glare from the girl ahead of her, who thought she was talking to her. “That’s absolute bullshit.”

However, something deep inside her knew that it wasn’t.

***

“Come on, Black! It’s not so terrible once you get used to it!”

“I’d rather not die of hypothermia, McKinnon. Thank you.”

“Oh, don’t be such a baby!”

Sirius frowned, his pride being slightly hurt by that, but he didn’t move from the bank of the Black Lake. He was _freezing_ even with all his clothes still on, and he couldn’t understand how Marlene could be swimming in the lake as if it was an August afternoon. He knew she was fond of swimming, and he enjoyed it too, but in reasonable circumstances; not at night, in late February, when he could still see traces of frost.

He guessed it was her Highlander side, which he found wild and hot, but he had been brought up in London, for Merlin’s sake.

“Come on,” she said again, changing her tactic and softening her voice.

She swam towards the bank and gave him an expectant, wide-eyed gaze. She was so pale, especially when the only light was the big moon —only four days until it was a full one, he knew because Remus was already suffering from it— and her freckles stood out more than ever. Her blonde hair was almost dark due to the wetness, and pushed back; and her usually pink lips were turning blue, but there was a content smile on her face.

His heart skipped a bit in the most embarrassing way, and he found himself saying, “You’re beautiful, did you know that?”

Marlene’s smile went bigger. “If I’m so beautiful, why don’t you want to swim with me?”

“Because I want my manly parts to keep on working… and you want that too, don’t you?”

She rolled her eyes. “No one ever became impotent for swimming in a cold lake.”

“That you know of.”

“Fine. Suit yourself.”

She swam away, but not too far so he couldn’t see her — in fact, he still had a privileged view, and when she stood up only to get rid of her bra and knickers in the slowest, sexiest and most provocative way she could think of, he suddenly forgot about the cold.

Especially when she threw her underwear at him and hit him straight on his dumbfounded face with a strength and precision that could only come from being the skillful Chaser she was. The wet fabric was cold, only confirming how freezing the water was, but Sirius found himself standing up and getting rid of his own clothes as well, including his boxers.

Marlene laughed so loudly when Sirius jumped in the lake that between that and his colourful curses because of how _fucking freezing_ that _goddamn lake_ was, that they were surprised no professor or prefect came to find them.

But then again, who on their right mind would be skinny-dipping in the Black Lake in February?

“Bloody hell,” he blurted out, his teeth shivering, as well as the rest of his body. “I hope you’re happy when the Black line dies out, McKinnon.”

Marlene laughed again and swam over to him, throwing her arms around his neck and wrapping her legs around his waist. She was usually light but thanks to the water, he barely noticed her weight, although the warmth of her body and the contact between her bare breasts against his chest certainly made him feel the cold less.

When she closed the small distance between their faces and joined their mouths together in one of those sinful kisses of hers, Sirius forgot about the cold entirely.

“It’s not that bad, is it?” she mumbled, her hot breath crashing against his lips, contrasting greatly with how cold the tip of her nose was.

“I guess not,” he admitted, because once you got past the biting cold and got used to the feeling of swimming naked with a gorgeous girl in the middle of the night, knowing that you could be caught by a teacher or eaten by the giant squid, it definitely wasn’t that bad.

It was thrilling, actually.

“And your manly parts are still working, so that’s a plus,” Marlene added with a cheeky smirk, clearly feeling the reactions his body was having due to her antics.

“Ah, yes. My mother will be so happy to know the Black line isn’t doomed, after all.”

“See? We’re even pleasing your mother, which is an impossible thing to do,” she grinned. “I was tired of sneaking around the castle — the Astronomy tower, the empty classrooms… I’m not saying it’s not exciting, but it’s always more exciting to try new things, isn’t it?”

Sirius stilled as a statue, his mind going blank, but it had nothing to do with the cold. Her words, on the other hand, hit him like a ton of bricks.

 _Number three. You’re trying new things_.

 _Sometimes it can be hard to compromise or do something you aren’t completely okay with_ , Mary had read out loud. _But if you find yourself willing to do and try new things for that special person, then you may have been bitten by the love bug_.

“No fucking way,” Sirius gasped, suddenly remembering that fucking magazine again.

“Really?” Marlene said, drawing away slightly to give him a strange look, and making him get out of his thoughts. “I thought you would agree, out of all people.”

“No, I mean—I do agree,” he said, and Marlene arched an eyebrow at him at how… _clumsy_ he sounded, which wasn’t a trait that could usually be associated with him at all. “Sorry, I got… distracted. The mention of my mother can fuck with anybody’s head.”

Marlene’s expression softened at his words, clearly understanding what the topic of his mother did to him, even if he had been the one to have brought it up first as a joke. This time, however, it wasn’t exactly _that_ what had fucked with his head, but he couldn’t let her know what kind of crazy thoughts were running through his mind.

They meant nothing, either way. Right?

“Yeah, let’s forget about her,” Marlene whispered, tightening the grip around his neck, “and make good use of your functioning parts, shall we?”

“Yes, Kitten,” he whispered back, touching all the way from her lower back to the base of her neck, to hold her head and bring their lips together. She shivered, and it wasn’t because of the cold, which made him smile while something in his stomach flipped. “Let’s.”

***

Sirius Black happy was a wonderful thing — his rough laugh, resembling so much a bark, was contagious and made everyone smile. Even McGonagall had a soft spot for him, whose lips sometimes twitched as if she didn’t want to kill him for all the rule-breaking he did as much as she showed.

When Sirius Black was angry, things were more complicated, because all rationality (not that he usually possessed much of it) left his brain and body and pure impulsiveness took over. Not even James could dissuade him when he was seeing red, and you could expect anything… and that anything would most likely be dangerous, for him and for others.

Now, when Sirius Black was _sad…_ that was an entirely different thing. It was as if the whole world turned just as gray as his eyes, but duller and more lifeless… or at least, Marlene’s world did. It was awful, because he was always everywhere, pulling pranks, being _loud_ , causing trouble; so seeing that beated shadow walking through the castle was simply _heartbreaking_. She couldn’t stand to see him like that, and the worst part was that she had no idea how to help him, no matter how much she wanted to. She felt _helpless_ , which wasn’t something Marlene was used to feeling at all.

Nobody knew what the hell to do when he was sad, not even his friends. It wasn’t a common thing for him to let it show either, so if people could actually _notice_ something was off with him, then it certainly was enough reason to worry.

“Please, just tell me,” Marlene begged James for what felt the millionth time. Her best friend had been uncharacteristically quiet as well, probably because he and Sirius were _symbiotic_ and he felt as terrible as he did. “I promise I won’t tell a soul. You know I won’t.”

“Marley, you know how he is. He doesn’t want anyone to pity him.”

“I won’t pity him!” she exclaimed, outraged. “I would _never—_ ”

“Believe me, you will,” James cut her off, in a tired sigh. “I know I do.”

“James—”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t. Not unless he allows me to.”

Marlene huffed, annoyed and frustrated. “Well, at least tell me where he is. I know you can tell me that much. I haven’t seen him since the afternoon classes… I’m worried about him.”

James cocked an eyebrow at her, momentarily smirking. “Oh. Are you?”

“James Fleamont Potter—”

“Fine, fine!” he put up his arms in surrender, knowing that nothing good could come out when she used his full name. “Just give me a moment.”

And after James somehow found out about Sirius’ whereabouts by digging inside his bag and muttering nonsense to an old, wrinkled parchment that she had seen on the boys on other occasions but they never admitted to what it truly was, he told her that Sirius was hiding in the Divination classroom.

She thought it was an odd place to hide, especially because they hadn’t taken Divination since fifth year and Trelawney was always around, but she headed there anyways. As always, the curtains were closed and it was stiflingly warm, and the fire which was burning under the crowded mantelpiece was giving off that heavy perfume Marlene wasn’t entirely fond of.

Sitting on one of the fat little pouffes near the window, was Sirius, smoking a cigarette. When he saw her, his entire expression turned into one of shock.

“McKinnon?” he blurted out, confused. “What are you doing here?”

“Looking for you, obviously,” she replied in an obvious tone. “What? You think I’ve come to ask Trelawney to read the cards for me?”

At that, Sirius’ lips moved a little upwards, but he didn’t smile. “How did you know where to find me?”

“I asked James and somehow he knew… Why did you choose this horrible place anyways?”

“I wanted to smoke,” he shrugged, simply, showing her the cigarette. “And the smell gets mixed with all these scented candles. I didn’t want to get wet.”

It was raining outside, and he was sitting by the only widow that didn’t have the curtain closed. Even if the pouff was too small for him to be entirely comfortable, the place did feel cozy, especially with the fire burning and the smell of tobacco around them.

She grabbed a pouff for herself and sat next to him. “Do you have another?”

Sirius passed her the package of cigarettes and she lit one for herself, blowing out the smoke with satisfaction after her first long drag. “Merlin, I’ve missed this.”

“I know,” he replied, watching her with certain amusement, but still not smiling. “What are you _really_ doing here, McKinnon?”

“Find out what’s up your ass, Black, what else?” she answered, rolling her eyes. “James wouldn't tell me and I was worried about you.”

Sirius raised his eyebrows, a glint of something suddenly appearing on his gorgeous eyes.

“You were?”

“Is it really that surprising?” she asked in a huff. “I know I act like a cold-hearted bitch but that doesn’t mean I am one… Well, not to my friends, at least.”

“Is that what we are, Kitten?”

She shrugged, not bothering to answer because she truly didn’t know, and took another drag of her cigarette. “Are you going to tell me or do I have to get it out of you by unconventional methods?”

At that, Sirius _finally_ outlined a small smirk. “I’m curious as to what those unconventional methods could be.”

“I believe you would enjoy them.”

“Of _that_ I have no doubt.”

“So?” Marlene pressed. “Do I need to undress myself for you to become distracted and tell me what it is?”

“No,” he chuckled, putting out his cigarette and lighting another one straight away. As he did so, the little improvement Marlene had achieved in his mood disappeared, and his expression fell again. “My uncle Alphard is dead.”

Out of all the things he could have said, Marlene hadn’t been expecting that one. She knew his relationship with his family was completely broken; he had left them about two years ago and yet, it still was the number one thing people talked about in social gatherings — about the Blacks’ black sheep, the promising heir who had everything to become the most admired young man in the pureblood elite world and had given it up… Sirius pretended it hadn’t hurt, that he couldn’t stand them anymore and he was relieved; and maybe he was, but that didn’t mean the break up had been clean, especially with his brother Regulus in the middle, whom she knew deep inside he still cared about. What she hadn’t known was that he had been fond of someone else other than his brother.

“I didn’t know you were close to him,” she admitted, not really knowing what else to say. She had met a few members of his family and knew them all by name due to having studied the pureblood family trees when she was little, but she didn’t remember him.

“I wasn’t. Not really,” he said, letting out a bitter laugh. “I mean, along with Andromeda, he was the only other family member that didn’t make me wanna rip my arms off. He was kind, and always told my mother not to be so hard on me… he was her brother.”

“I’m sorry, Sirius,” Marlene said sincerely, because she truly was. Alphard Black had probably been more decent than Sirius was letting on, and she could assume this merely because he tended to downplay things so they would hurt less. “How did you find out? Did—Did your mother—”

He didn’t even let her finish. “No, of course not,” he snorted. “That’s the worst part. I had to find out through his lawyer because, apparently, he left me all his inheritance.”

“Merlin,” was all that she could say, too astonished to even think of anything else.

Sirius laughed, still bitterly, but more naturally than before. “Indeed. What am I supposed to do?”

“You mean, should you accept the gold or not?”

“Yeah. It feels… wrong, because I didn’t really have a relationship with him. It would also feel so… so…”

“Hypocritical?” she offered, with a knowing smile.

“Yeah,” he admitted. “What do you think?”

“Honestly? I think you should accept it,” she shrugged, earning a surprised look from him. “I don’t think it’s hypocritical because you never asked him to do it. And if you reject it, you would be ignoring his last wish, which I think he deserves to have fulfilled if he was this generous to you and you never really noticed.”

Sirius stayed silent, processing her words with a thoughtful expression, as if it had never occurred to him to look at the situation like that before. It took him a while to speak again, and when he did, his voice sounded a bit drowned. Marlene pretended she didn’t notice because he would want her to, even if her heart broke a little.

“But why would he do it?” Sirius insisted, clearly frustrated. “Why couldn’t he have said something when he was alive?”

“Because, Sirius, not everyone is as brave as you are,” Marlene said, simply. “My family isn’t perfect by any means, but at least they aren’t as extremist as yours — yes, my father was mad my brother married a Muggle girl, and he didn’t go to his wedding, but he never forbade me or my sisters to attend. He didn’t disinherit him or blasted him off. And even if he had… even if my family was just like yours, I’m not sure I would have the courage to do what you did.”

“You would,” he said, and he sounded so certain that Marlene let out a small smile.

“I don’t know, but my point is… perhaps your uncle felt the same way you did and would have wanted to do what you have done, but never had the guts to actually do it. Maybe this was his way of supporting it, and supporting you.”

At that, Sirius looked up at her; his gray eyes were stormy and a little wet, but Marlene, for his sake, pretended again she couldn’t see it because of the darkness of the room. He stared at her for a while, as if he had never seen her well before, and the intensity of his gaze almost made her think she had offended him, until an honest, real smile grew on his face; small and a bit hesitant, but nevertheless, a smile. And it brightened up his whole face.

Her heart went ballistic.

“Why are you doing this, McKinnon?”

“Because I’m amazing, Black,” she answered, outlining a superior smile, even though something stupid occurred to her… something that, somehow, made sense.

_Number four. Your empathy towards that person just keeps growing._

Mary’s face and that stupid magazine showed up on her head again, and she could almost hear her friend read, “ _passionate love,_ _as in_ _you-can’t-keep-your-hands-off-each-other infatuation, is great, but compassionate love is softer, more intimate and more real. If you’re falling in love, there is an ever-growing empathy towards your partner_ _that_ _makes you feel what they’re a feeling; therefore, you go out of your way to make them happy if they are feeling upset, because their happiness matters to you_.”

“Yeah,” Sirius mumbled, almost to himself, staring at her. “You are.”

His eyes and smile were so soft, clearly meaning it, that she felt herself blushing.

 _Fucked_ , Marlene thought, _I’m so fucked. And in love, apparently._

_***_

The bluebell flames Lily had casted and put inside a large bowl was keeping the eight of them warm while they passed around a bottle of firewhiskey James had stolen from Slughorn’s office. It was almost midnight, and they were all sitting on the grass, in the middle of the Quidditch pitch, celebrating the last day they had together before the Easter holidays, as tomorrow they all would be going home.

“I definitely see Lily as our first female Prime Minister,” Marlene said, taking a large gulp from the bottle and passing it to Dorcas, who was sitting right next to her.

“I think you’ve had too much to drink, Marls,” Lily giggled, a bit tipsy herself. But McKinnon’s state, despite having drunk much more, was the best out of the four girls.

“No, she’s right,” James said, thoughtfully. “You’d be a great politician.”

“Thanks, James, but you’re still not getting in my pants.”

Everyone cheered or let out an “ooooh!” while James rolled his eyes with a smile, even though his ears had gone a little red.

“Sorry, Prongs. It was worth a shot,” Sirius grinned.

“But I agree with James and I don’t want to get in Lily’s pants,” Mary commented.

“Yeah, me too,” Remus admitted. “You should think about it, Lily.”

“They are right,” Dorcas said, seriously. “You’re smart, competent and honest. You’d fight for our rights tooth and nail.”

“Plus, you’re so scary when you’re angry that people will actually listen,” James added.

Everyone laughed again, even Lily, who blushed under James’ smiling eyes on her.

“Please, guys. With the way things are, I’d be lucky if I even get a _job._ Not to mention, at the Ministry of Magic, out of all places.”

“Don’t,” Marlene said, pointing a finger at her and then going through their whole circle. “I forbid you all to talk about how shitty our world is. We have the rest of our lives to talk _and_ fight against it, but not tonight… Tonight is about _enjoying_ our last Easter holidays as students.”

“I thought it was about drinking Slughorn’s expensive firewhiskey.”

“To me, that’s exactly the same,” Marlene said. “Now, come on. What do you see Remus doing?”

“Teaching,” Peter replied, surprising everyone. “What? He’s patient and explains things clearly. I would know… he’s helped me all these years.”

“Would you like that, Remus?” Mary asked him, curiously.

Remus shrugged. “I’ve never thought about it, but the idea seems… appealing, actually.”

“Well, that was unbelievably accurate, Wormtail!” Sirius exclaimed. “Here, drink up!”

Peter smiled and took a large gulp before passing it to James.

“What about me?” the boy asked. “Help me. Because I have no idea.”

“I thought you wanted to be an Auror,” Lily said to him, interested.

“Because it seems like the right thing to do, but I don’t think I would have considered it if it wasn’t for… well, the circumstances Marley doesn’t want us to mention.”

“I know what you mean,” the redhead nodded, thoughtfully. “I feel the same way… Now, Dorcas, on the other hand,” she smiled, turning to look at her friend. “She would be the most amazing and terrifying Auror.”

Dorcas rolled her eyes, as she always did whenever someone paid her a compliment.

“Please, getting into the Aurors Academy is nearly impossible.”

“But you could do it,” Marlene said, confidently; she would know, after all, since her brother worked there. “You are a total badass, Dorcas. Give yourself more credit.”

“She’s right, you know?” Remus told her, and everyone politely pretended not to notice the way she blushed furiously at the way he was looking at her. “You would be a great Auror.”

“Thanks,” the girl replied tightly, and quickly tried to avoid Remus’ soft gaze. She narrowed her eyes at Sirius, who was smirking mischievously at her. “What about you, Black? What do you want to do?”

“Dear Dorcas,” Sirius sighed, dramatically. “You should know by now that I’m a stranded sheep. I have no path.”

“More like a stranded dog,” James smirked at him. “With fleas and everything.”

“Shut up, Prongs. You know I’m cleaner than you.”

“Surprisingly, that is true,” Remus confirmed, while Peter nodded, making the girls laugh.

“Hey, don’t dodge the question, Black,” Marlene said, arching an eyebrow. “What would you like to do?”

“Honestly?” he asked, and everyone nodded, curiously. He outlined a huge grin. “I haven’t got the faintest idea. I’m surprised you believe _I_ think so far ahead… The only thing I’m sure of is that I’m going to buy a motorcycle and make her fly.”

A moment of silence followed his words.

“Against all odds,” Lily said, blinking repeatedly. “You’re the one who makes the most sense.”

“Yeah, who knows what could happen tomorrow?” Mary commented a bit darkly while she took her turn at drinking.

“Come on you guys!” Marlene complained, childishly. “Don’t be like this!”

“What about you, Marlene?” Peter asked her, clearly uneasy, because he didn’t like talking about how dark things were getting in the outside world either. “What would you do?”

“Well, Pete, since you’ve so kindly asked,” Marlene grinned, as if she had been expecting that question all along. “I want to be a Mediwitch and study all different kinds of potions, herbs, plants and methods used for healing around the world, starting for Egypt. Then, after travelling around the world, I would like to set a small office where I would tend to my patients.”

Everyone dropped their jaws at her sudden confession, except for James and Lily, who had smiles on their faces because they had probably already known. The rest, including Sirius, were astonished; not because they didn’t think her capable of all that, if anything, now that he thought about it, Marlene had always been a healer at heart, taking care of her loved ones in the shadows — but she always acted so… so like _him,_ so careless, and she carried herself with such a living-in-the-moment attitude, that to think she had her future all thought out was shocking.

Sirius felt a distinctive warmth expand throughout his chest, and he identified it as pride, because there Marlene McKinnon was, being the most beautiful, intelligent and headstrong girl in the world and being completely nonchalant about it. He knew where it all came from — how losing her mother so young to a fatal illness had marked her forever. She was so scared of losing the rest of her family and friends that she would do absolutely anything, including gathering knowledge all around the world, to prevent it from happening again. She tried to act like she didn’t care about anything when in fact, she cared so deeply about everyone that it probably hurt her.

He could picture her perfectly in his mind — in the middle of the desert, talking to local tribes and writing everything down in one of her many notebooks, in that messy handwriting of hers that made Sirius want to cringe fondly. Her hair tied in a messy braid, her cheeks and nose red, and her freckles standing out from the sun; talking excitedly with her hands, smiling, laughing, _living_.

And suddenly, out of nowhere, Sirius was there too.

He couldn’t understand _why_ because while he hadn’t planned anything, it had never occurred to him to visit Egypt before… but he was there with her, transcribing her messy notes into neatly, legible ones; having her back all the time, were she in need of it, taking pictures because Prongs and Lily, already married in his imagination, had asked him to… After Egypt, they could travel to Israel, Jordan, Sudan, Turkey, Iran, India… literally _everywhere._ They could even use his motorcycle for some parts of their trip.

He could picture it so vividly in his mind, so perfectly, that when Dorcas’ voice made him snap out of his thoughts he almost got mad at her for interrupting such a wonderful daydream. She was offering him the bottle of firewhiskey because, apparently, it was his turn again. The topic of conversation had changed completely, but he didn’t bother to understand what it was.

He looked at Marlene, who was laughing so hard at something that James was saying that there were tears in her eyes.

And then, it hit him, how he wanted to have her in his life for as long as could.

_Number five. You start planning for the future._

He took a second to throw Mary a glance, in a mix of resentment and gratitude for having read them that goddamn magazine that, perhaps, had a point after all.

Then, Sirius Black realised that he, a guy with absolutely no plans, wanted to start planning a future… more specifically, a future with Marlene McKinnon.

Because he was in love with her.


End file.
